Jeffrey "OneShot" Wong Just Won't Die Spinoff 5 "Men, I hate them," Misato muttered as she stormed into her apartment. Ritsuko were in the livingroom reading a book, Lisa in front of her computer in the corner of the room. They both glanced up at Misato. "What's wrong?" Lisa asked. "Did your date with Kenji go badly?" "He's a lying sonuvabitch!" Misato said, fuming, "The guys asks me out, I accept, he doesn't even bother to tell me he's married until his wife shows up at the restaurant with a male friend of hers. It seems he knew she was going to be there and was using me as a way of getting back at her. That bastard," Ritsuko smirked a bit, "A guy did that? Are you sure that's possible? It sounds like something that has to be well thought out," "I can't believe what I saw in him," Misato commented, "I show up at the restaurant. He's ten minutes late. So I decided to wait at the bar section and have a drink. Meanwhile, this guy start hitting on me. I tell them that I'm expecting someone, but he persists. I even threatened to spray him with mace but he thinks I'm just flirting and kidding around," "That asshole," Ritsuko commented, "So how did you get rid of him?" Misato continued on, "And I can't believe the pick-up line he used. `There must be a mirror in your pocket because I can see myself in your pants'. The nerve of some people," "He said that?!" Lisa said, eyes wide, "Guys actually say that bull!!" "Wouldn't it just be better that they say something like `hi'?" Ritsuko said, still reading her book, "So, how did you get rid of him?" "I told him I was a man that recently had a operation," Misato said with a smirk. "That seemed to get rid of him real fast," Lisa laughed. Ritsuko snickered. Misato flopped down on the couch, "And that wasn't all. After he left, two more other guys showed up. They were brothers. They reeked of cologne, like they were hiding the fact that they probably hadn't showered in a week by spraying themselves with excess amounts. I found myself about to gag the the stench was overwhelming. It was disgusting," "How did you get rid of them?" Lisa asked, swiveling around in her chair. "I told them the same thing, that I was a guy," she replied, "But they didn't buy it. They kept pestering me once again. One of them even had the audacity to place his hands on my leg. I threatened him that I would pepper spray him if he didn't leave me alone," "Did he stop?" Ritsuko asked, interested. Misato nodded, "Yeah. He and his brother left me alone. Unfortunately, I ended up reeking of their cologne cause they sat so close to me, one on each side. My date noticed the stench, but lied and said that my `perfume' smelled quite nice. Jeez, the things a guy would say," "So, what happened afterwards?" Lisa asked. "My date showed up," Misato replied, "At first glance, I actually thought he was a gentleman. He even held the chair out for me as we were seated. I have to give him credit for that. Aside from that, he was a total loser," "How so?" Lisa asked. "He said all the wrong things," Misato said, "He said he liked working with `retards', yes, that's what he said. I knew he was lying, but at least be less obvious. He started bullshitting about how he plans on buying his own business in about a year from now," Ritsuko smirked, "You mean he's going to that rich approach. Afterall, a guy with money does sound rather appealing to a woman. I guess he realized that," "Uh huh," Misato nodded, "He was saying a buncha bull about how he had friends in the coporate world that want to invest in his business. And when I asked what kinda business it was, he tried to dodge the question, stalling for time so he could come up with something decent," "What did he say?" Lisa asked, "Probably something prestigious sounding," "Nah, he gave me resume type business title," Misato smirked, "Business venturing in corporate affairs. He thought I was some idiot and would believe that he was for real. By then, I knew he was a scum bag so I figured that, since he's buying me the dinner, I might as well enjoy the meal. Of course, in walks his wife," "Then what happened?" Lisa asked. Ritsuko listened carefullly. "Nothing. He cursed to himself when his wife didn't notice him and thought aloud, `she didn't see me'," Misato said, "I knew then and there that he was trying to use me to get someone jealous. I ask him who he was talking about and he dumbly says, `My wife' before he realizes that he wasn't supposed to have said that," Misato stretched out on the couch and continued on, "I simply stood up, took the glass of champagne I order, which costed quite a bit per bottle, and splashed it in his face and left. He never bothered to chase me. I took the cab home, which was another horror story," "What happened?" Lisa asked, getting up off her seat and sitting down on the loveseat next to the couch. "The cab driver, starts hitting on me," Misato said, "I mean really hitting on me. He starts yapping about how good my `perfume' smells, and use the age old line, `What's a nice girl like you out all alone?'. I told him I was alone because I was trying to avoid people like him. I didn't tell him that until after I got out of the cab and give him the fare. And do you know what happened? The driver asked if he could take me out to dinner one day! And there he was, his hands on the steering wheel, his wedding ring right in front of me, like I wouldn't see it," "God, what an idiot," Ritsuko snickered, "He should have at least taken it off," "Man, this is one night I want to foget," Misato sighed, "It was horrible. I think tonight is the night that I finally realized how obnixious men are," "What about Ranma?" Lisa smirked, "He's a man," Misato said, "Ranma? Especially him. I don't think men come more obnixious and arrogant than him," There was a knock at the door. "You expecting someone?" Lisa asked Misato. "It better not be my date," she replied, "If it's him, then tell him I'm not home. I don't want to see another man for the rest of the night. Heck, forget the night. Make it the week. I'm just going to sit here and enjoy a nice container of ice cream topped with chocolate fudge," Ritsuko got up off her couch and answered the door. She was pleasantly surprised to realize it was Ranma. "R-Ranma, what are you doing here?" she asked, smiling a bit. Ranma, carrying a bucket of chicken, said, "The television broke back home so I figured I'd drop by and watch the sports channel here. Is it okay with you?" "Um, s-sure," Ritsuko said, allowing Ranma to enter. She didn't really mind. It wasn't like they watched television anyway. She watched as Ranma took of his shoes and walked into the livingroom. "R-Ranma," Misato and Lisa said, shocked. Behind him, they saw Ritsuko shrugging her shoulders and giving a weak smile. Ranma gave Misato a curious look, "Hey, I thought you had a date tonight," "I did," Misato said, sitting upright, "It ended early, quite early," He shrugged his shoulders and sat down on the couch, placing the bucket of chicken on the table, grabbing the remote and turning on the television. All the girls just watched him as he ignored them. After a minute, Ranma turned toward Misato and leaned toward her. Misato leaned back, acutely aware of Ranma's closeness. "You should take a shower," he commented. He turned back to the television. "W-what?" Misato said, eyes widening. She found herself getting angry. "That perfume you're wearing smells like crap," Ranma said bluntly, not even looking at her. He continued watching the television. "It could make a guy lose his appetite," "It isn't perfume!" Misato said, getting angry. Although she knew she reeked, she didn't like being told that, especially by a man. "It's a man's cologne," "Well, I guess that french version of calling it seems appropriate for that, `Toilet water'," he commented. "It's l'eau de toilet," Ritsuko corrected. She found it rather funny now that Ranma mentioned it. Lisa shook her head at Ranma, "Ranma, how can you say something like that? That's so rude! Don't you have any manners? Jeez," Ranma said, "Why the hell would I need manners around here? It's not like we're on some kinda date or nothing," "Misato just came back from her date," Lisa began. "I know, she just told me," "It went horribly," Ritsuko added. She assumed Ranma would at least be a gentleman enough to at least comfort Misato in her time of need. Ranma looked at Misato, "What happened? Didja get dumped?" "No!!! I didn't get dumped!!!" Misato shouted, "For your information.....forget about it," Ranma shrugged his shoulders, "All right," and then turned back toward the televion. "Jeez, you're clueless, Ranma," Misato said, nearly fuming. "I'm not as clueless as you think I am," Ranma smiled. Misato smirked, "All right, if you're not as clueless, then why am I home early?" "Because you needed to take a shower. You accidentally put on toilet water," he answered. "You idiot!!" Ritsuko said, "First off, it's not toilet water!" "Yeah yeah, y'know what I mean," he said, shrugging. Ritsuko added, "Secondly, she smells like that because these two guys sat near here and the cologne they were wearing permeated into her outfit," "Why the hell would they wanna sit right next to her?" Ranma asked. "They were hitting on me," Misato answered. Ranma shrugged his shoulders, "Well, I guess I wouldn't blame her. She is pretty and all," Misato blushed. She felt this warm feeling flooding through her. What Ranma said sounded truly sincere. All of a sudden, her night didn't seem to feel all that bad. She needed a compliment like that to help pick her spirits up and Ranma had accidentally complimented her withour realizing it. "But then again," Ranma continued, "If they actually knew the real Misato, I'm pretty sure they won't be hittin' on her," "Ranma!!!" Misato shouted, getting angry again. She couldn't believe she had actually felt nice when Ranma had complimented her. Leave it to that idiot to ruin things without even realizing it. Misato smirked, "Ranma, for a guy, you sure are different from the rest of `em," "Eh? What are ya talking about?" he asked. "You're honest and don't seem to have a problem saying what's on your mind," Ritsuko answered, "So much that its actually a fault at times," Ranma ignored Ritsuko and continued to watch the television. "Ranma," Ritsuko said. "What?" he aksed, exasperrated, "I'm watching television here. Man, what's with you women. You only wanna talk when there's a sports game on. Actually, that's not true, you women never really do stop talking. Hm, I guess that's why girls don't pass gas, because they never shut up long enough to build up any pressure," "What?!?" the three girls said, their angers rising. The nerve of some people. "You've got a lot of nerve saying something like that," Misato said, standing in front of him, "I can't believe you can be such an obnoxious jerk at times. I can't believe you said that. You're such an asshole, Ranma!" "Yeah, Ranma," Lisa and Ritsuko agreed. Although they all knew Ranma had a tendancy to tease them, they always found themselves getting angry at him and his sexist comments. Ranma said, "Misato, can ya move over, I can't see the television. Those thunder hips of yours of yours is in the way," "W-w-what?!" Misato shouted, "What did you say?!? I am not fat!!!" She couldn't believe what she was hearing. Arguing with Ranma made her hate the male species even more. "I can't believe you said that!!" "Fine, I take that back," Ranma said, annoyed, "Now will you please move? You're in the way," "No!" Misato said, "I'm not going to move. Why don't you move? As in getting the hell out of our apartment!" Ranma smirked, "And if I don't?" "I-I'll....pepper spray you," Misato quickly said. "Go ahead and get it," Ranma smirked, "My chicken could sure use some more seasoning. I like my chicken spicy," Misato glared at Ranma. "Man, there's always something wrong with you women, y'know that?" he said. "What do you mean by that?" Lisa asked, already feeling this huge debate about to take place. Ranma constantly teased them on why males were better than females. "You have all these girl talk about how men always lie and cheat and junk, and once I come along, doing the exact opposite, your still get angry," Ranma said, "There's definitely something wrong with that. It's as if you girls enjoy bitching and complainin'," At that moment, there was a knock at the door. Lisa got up to answer it while Ranma continued ranting. "All you ever do is whine," he said, "You complain about how men never understand you. Fine. I admit, guys can understand women. So, what do I do? I don't even bother trying to understand you and you get annoyed," Lisa entered back into livingroom, Sylia, Nene, Linna, and Priss following behind her. "Guess who's here?" Lisa said. "We were all about to go out and get something to eat and decided to stop by and ask.....R-Ranma, what are you doing here?" Linna asked. "Oh great, the estrogen squad is here," Ranma looked at Linna, "Don't think I'm going to share my chicken with you. Go get your own food," "What do you mean by estrogen squad?" Sylia said, her hands on her hips. Ranma shrugged his shoulders, "Go out and have fun. I'll stay here by myself and watch the game," "Oh no you don't," Misato said, "You're leaving," "It's not like I'm gonna go looking through you panty draws when you're gone," Ranma said, "You pervert!! Now we definitely don't want you here!" Ritsuko said, "That's so disgusting. What the hell were you going to do with our panties anyway?!" "Nothing! Jeez, there's something wrong with you. I'm just going to stay here and watch television," he replied. "Now will you please move over so I can watch the game?" Misato pulled the plug out of the television. "Oh no you don't," she said, "You're leaving right now. I can't believe someone as rude, chauvanistic, arrogant like you could exist. You're the epitome of all the bad things about men out there in the world, and there are a lot of bad things to men," "What about my looks?" he smirked, "Surely that isn't a bad thing," "Why you arrogant-" Ranma stood up, carrying the bucket of chicken and headed for the door. He opened it and walked across the hallway and knocked on the adjacent door. "W-what is he doing?" Ritsuko asked, "Why's he knocking on her door?" Their neighbor was this young woman that were rarely home since she was always going out on dates. The door opened to reveal a young girl, clad in her bathrobe. She looked up at Ranma and smiled, "Oh, h-hello," Ranma jerked a thumb toward the girls behind him and said, "They kicked me outta their apartment. Is it all right if I watch the sports game on your television?" The girls smiled sexily, "Sure you can, honey," Priss stepped out into the hallway and grabbed Ranma's pigtail and pulled him into their apartment, closing the door behind "Oh no you don't!" Ranma, back arched, walking backwards, "Hey, let go!!" He turned toward Priss and grbbed her hand and freed himself from her grasp. He then looked down at the floor where he dropped his bucket of chicken, "Now look whatcha did! I haven't eaten yet! I'm starving!" "It's your fault for flirting with that girl!" Linna said. "I was not flirting with her!" he replied. "Now what the hell am I going to eat? Well, that just does it, you're going to buy me a bucket of chicken," "Like hell I will," Priss said back. Ranma frowned. He turned around and opened the door and stepped back out into the hallway. There, the young lady was just about to close her door when she saw Ranma. She smiled again at Ranma. "Hello again," he said politely before he proceeded down the hallway. "Where are you going?" the girl asked. "Can I join you?" "Like hell you will!" Priss sneered at the girl as she walked past her, following after Ranma. "Ranma! Where the hell are you going?!" The other girls were following behind her. They didn't seem to like the thought of Ranma walking around alone in the city, a city full of women. "Get away from me you psycho women!" he said, "I'll scream rape!" Priss lunged and tackled him to the ground. Everyone else ended up falling on top of them, unable to stop their running in time. "Get off of me!" Ranma yelled, "You girls are crazy!! Lettgo!!"