Jeffrey "OneShot" Wong Just Won't Die Spinoff 4 "C'mon," Ranma said, "It's clearly better to be a guy," Everyone was gathered in Ranma's livingroom, deciding to spend the day there after having a delicious group dinner like they had every week. There, Ranma had made a sexist comment that made all the girls glare at him. "I can't believe there are people as sexist as you," Misato commented, thoroughly disgusted with him, but also admiring him for his courage to say something like that in a room full of females. Sure, Shinji and Carper were there, but Shinji would most likely say nothing, too afraid. The same thing goes for Carper since his wife was there and would most likely make him sleep on the couch tonight if he said anything wrong. It was basically Ranma versus the females. "Fine, give us some reasons," Sylia smirked. She found this rather amusing. Ranma smiled and said, "All right, when we go on a, say, five day vacation, all we hafta bring is a suitcase. We don't have to wait on a line to goto the bathroom. We can open our own jars instead of having to ask someone else to do it for us." "I can open my own jars!" Priss snapped, standing up. "Yeah, by breakin' them because you get too frustrated to actually opening the top," Ranma smirked. Priss glared at Ranma. She had this yearning to strangle him. "If I gained weight, you don't see my friends telling me that or giving me crap about it," he continued, "We don't hafta carry a purse full of useful stuff around with us. We don't hafta goto bathrooms in groups. Heck, how the hell do you girls do that anyway? I mean, dontcha find it a bit uncomfortable when you're going about your business and your friend starts talking to ya?" "Sometimes we go there just to check our make up or something or another," Misato said. "Yeah, which you hafta carry with you everywhere you go," he chuckled, "There's more. We actually get points for acts of thoughtfulness, like when we do the dishes," "Why you sexist, egotistical-" Linna said, getting furious. Ranma ignored her and continued on, "It only takes us ten minutes to shower and get ready. We never hafta worry about wedding plans because they take care of themselves," "That's because the bride makes all the arragements!!" Madigan said, getting up. She remembered all the trouble she went through to arrage the wedding between her and Carper. Ranma smiled, "I know. It's a girl's job," "Ranma, at this rate, you're going to die," Sylia smiled, giggling a bit. Of course, she knew Ranma well enough that he would never learn to keep his mouth shut. He continued on, "We don't hafta shave below our necks," All the females stood up, "Ranma!!!" Despite the hostile glares, Ranma seemed to actually ignore them. "If we're, say, thirty five, and still single....nobody notices. Heck, I'm eighty and nobody notices I'm still single. We can write our names in the snow," Shinji burst out laughing. When he noticed that no one else was laughing, he quickly shut up. Everyone continued to glare at Ranma. He said, "If we fuck up, then all we hafta do is buy the girl some flowers and chocolate," "All the flowers and chocolate in the world isn't going to get Ranma out of this," Carper whispered to Shinji. "No one's going to find his body," "When it's hot out, we can take of our shirts without being embarrassed," he continued, "We don't care if someone notices your new haircut and won't get upset if someone doesn't. The world is our urinal. If we hafta go, we can go anywhere we want. We can sit with our knees apart no matter what you are wearing. We do the same work but get paid more than the female doing it. Right, Carper? I betcha when you were working at Genom, you were gettin' paid more than Madigan, even though she was your superior," "I ain't saying anything," Carper said, raising his hands, "The couch is lumpy and I don't wanna sleep on that tonight," "If you know what's good for you," Madigan said, brows creased. Ranma shrugged his shoulders and said, "Gray hair and wrinkles add character instead of just making us look old. If we hafta adjust ourselves, we don't hafta leave the room. A wedding dress costs somewhere around twenty thousand yen, and you girls only wear it once while a guy only needs to shell out about a thousand yen to rent a tux. "If we were to ever retain water, it'll be in a canteen. We don't hafta worry about people glancin' at our chests when we're talking to `em. We can rationalize any behavior with the handy phrase "Fuck it!". If an other guy shows up at the party in the same outfit as us, we don't go running around like a chicken with its head cut of going `Oh my god, he has the same outfit as me!' "Ranma!!!" the girls seemed to say at him in unison. "Hold up," Sylia said, calmer than everyone else, but still somewhat annoyed at Ranma for his sexist views. "I have a few reasons that would make being a woman better than being a man," That seemed to catch Ranma and Shinji and Carper's attention. "Oh? Do tell," Ranma smirked. Sylia cleared her throat and said, "We can marry someone rich and then not have to work," Ranma smirked, "You're rich, Sylia. If I marry you, youd would make me work?" Sylia blushed. She quickly composed herself and continued on, "We always end up sleeping in the bed when we fight with our other halves," Carper laughed out, "That's sooo true!!" Madigan glared at him. "Um, I'm going to shut up now," Carper said meekly. "We don't worry about losing our hair," Sylia said, "We don't have to mow the lawn, nor take out the garbage, nor have to paint the house or wall," "That's because you're too busy cleaning the toilets," Ranma smirked. "Ranma!!!" Priss said, making a fist, "Shut the hell up!!" "PMS," Sylia said, smiling, "It gives us an excuse once a month to act like the way a guy does every day. "We don't have to constantly adjust ourselves," Ranma smiled and said, "Yeah, but when you do hafta adjust yourselves, ya hafta leave the room," Sylia ignored him and said, "Sweat is sexy on us. We get candy, flowers and jewelry all the time because you men constantly fuck up," She smiled. That seemed to shut Ranma up. She continued on, "Women are cleaner" "That's because you spend an hour in the bathroom," Ranma smiled. "We're better arguers," Sylia said. "I dunno about that, you seem to be losing this argument," Ranma smirked. "Shut up! Shut up!! Shut up!!! Let Sylia talk!!" Priss shouted, fuming, wanting to choke Ranma to death, "We never interrupted you like that!!" Ranma shrugged his shoulders. "Thanks you," Sylia smiled, "Anyway, we can get a massage when we're aching. We're better parents There is no penis envy," "Yeah right," Ranma chuckled, "I read it in a book that you girls are jealous of us because of that," "Yeah right!!! Why the hell would we be jealous of a penis?!" Ritsuko said, "We would never want something like that making all the decisions for us. That's why we all think more rationally!" "Hey, two heads are better than one," Ranma argued. "Yeah, but you can only have enough blood suppy for one head at a time," Nene giggled. "Hey!" the guys seemed to say at once. "Yeah, you go!" Misato praised Nene. The girls burst out laughing. After a minute of laughing at the guys' expense, Sylia continued on and said, "Most women actually look good in short shorts. We get better tips if we were a waitress. If we don't wear underwear, we are considered sexy and wild, but when men do it, its considered disgusting," "Nah, girls just don't wear underwear because they are scared of panty lines," Ranma chuckled. He immediately shut up when Akane planted a fist in his face. "Shut up! Quit interrupting her, you...you....man!" Akane said. She had wanted to do that for a long long time, ever since he started listing out all those benefits of being male. Sylia smiled at Akane, "Thanks. And speack of which, at least have the manner to say thank yous. Above that, we've mastered civilized eating and don't embarrass our friends or make loud bodily noises in public. We don't spend 45 minutes on the toilet," "Yeah, you spend that time waiting for it," Ranma commented. "Shut up!!!" the girls shouted at him. Ranma ignored them. "Men will pay us for sex," Sylia said, "We can punch at a man and not get hit in return. Women sweat less. Women smell better," "That's because of perfume," Ranma said. "Shut up!!!" Akane said, punching Ranma again. He simply shrugged it off like it didn't hurt. "We don't get embarrassed when buying tampons," "What about being a guy? We don't hafta worry about buyin' tampons, so there," Ranma smirked. "We have better fashion sense," Sylia said, "We're better shoppers. We don't have to make fools out of ourselves to impress a man. Men don't know what our 'girl talk' is all about. Women look better naked, Women do less time for violent crime. We don't have to worry about not being able to get it up. The remote control is not an extension of ourselves. Women are sexier," "Only if you spend an hour in the bathroom fixing yourselves up," Ranma smirked, "All we hafta do is put on a tux," "And last but not least, we can get laid anytime, anywhere, anyway we want it," Sylia said triumphantly. "If you can have sex whenever ya want? Then why the hell are you all trying to have sex with me?!" Ranma asked, "Go chase someone else," "Die Ranma!!!!"