People who trick dogs are idiots.
I was walking around a park one sunny day and noticed something, there were a lot of stupid people out. I don't usually pay attention when I walk around except to avoid walking into things and looking like an idiot for doing so, but on that day, I decided to look around and take in my surroundings. Looking around, I noticed that there were a lot of people playing fetch with their dogs out in the middle of a large open field. I find it rather endearing, seeing people spending time with their pets and having fun and enjoying themselves and their pet's company. However, as I watch, I came to the conclusion that a lot of dog owners are idiots.
As I watch an owner throw a ball and the dog eagerly run after it to fetch it, I wonder if some owners deserve the unconditional love dogs usually bestow them. I think of this when I see dog owners do that 'fake-fetch' trick, the trick where the owner pretends he threw an object for the dog to fetch but really didn't. Instead, he just holds on to the object and laughs when the dog turns around and goes running after the oject it thought its owner threw, only to look back at its owner in confusion when it notices that it didn't see where the object landed.
As I watch this, I came to the conclusion that the owners that do this are stupid. To all the dog owners that do this trick, I say this, "Congratulations, you just fooled a dog."
You look more like an idiot than the dog. And what's funny is that you are probably too stupid to realize that you're the idiot here. Dogs don't even realize if they look idiotic. Why do you think the don't care if you dress them up in silly outfits? They only want to try and removed them themselves because they're uncomfortable with the items you put on them, not because they realized they look idiotic. Fooling a dog kinda makes me wonder about the intelligence of the owner in question since he probably isn't aware that he looks idiotic as well for fooling a dog. Tricking someone that doesn't care one bit about being tricked or is even aware that he had been tricked is like trying to kill a dead guy. The point is moot. You ever tell a joke that was over someone's head and you find yourself having to explain it...only to realize that the person still doesn't understand? The novelty of the joke is lost. That's the same with tricking a dog, where the dog is the person that will, all the time, not understand the joke...but still going on with the joke anyway and finding amusement in that. You're an idiot for telling a joke to someone that will NEVER understand the joke no matter how hard you try.
You know what the fake-fetch trick that is equivalent to? Probably the trick where you point toward someone's shirt and say "You have something there on your shirt" and when the person looks down, you bring your hand up to smack them in the face. The funny thing is is that BOTH people look like idiots when that trick is done. This is because the guy doing the trick must be just as stupid as the guy falling for said trick to find amusement in that.
With the fake-fetch trick, only the owner looks like an idiot. Why? Because you're doing a trick on a dog. It's a fucking dog! If I was the dog, and I could talk, I'd probably say something like "Way to go, asshole. You sure fooled me. But then again, I'm just a dog...which means you're an idiot for finding amusement in fooling a dog like myself"
I used to do this when I was, like, five years old, doing the fake-fetch trick. But after a while, I came to realize that that trick is rather stupid. I realized I was fooling a dog and the novelty of such a stupid trick wore off quite quickly. That's because I realized I was doing something idiotic and stopped. Unfortunately, not many people are aware that they're doing idiotic things and continue to do this. There are a lot of things to find amusing. Unfortunately, it's just sad if you find amusement in tricking a dog. Think about it, YOU FIND AMUSEMENT IN TRICKING A DOG!
The next time you fool a dog by doing the fake-fetch trick, say this to yourself "I'm awesome! I just fooled a dog! This is why humans rule over dogs!"
And if you actually do need to fool a dog to feel better about yourself, you've got yourself a whole different set of problems besides being an idiot. With something like that, my recommendation is to kill yourself.
There're enough stupid people around that I won't miss you.