Jeffrey "OneShot" Wong Ranma 1/2: Total misunderstandings (Opening scene: Ranma is in his bedroom. Ranma's trying to get into a tuxedo for his high school dance. At that moment, a pebble hits his window. He walks over to it and opens the window and looks out. Ukyo is standing outside, below his window) Ranma:Hiya, Ucchan.(Notices she's dressed nicely)I see you're dressed for the dance also. Ukyo:(Hops up and enters room from window)Of course, Ranchan. I wouldn't want to miss this dance for the world. Of course, you're going to save me a dance, right? Ranma:Um....of course. Ukyo:(Notices Ranma is only in his shorts and shirt)How come you're not dressed? Ranma:I can't get into my tux. I'm having trouble. (Meanwhile, Akane is in her room, almost finished getting dress) Akane:(Looks in mirror)Wow, this dress looks beautiful. I can't wait till the dance. (Back in Ranma's room) Ukyo:How can you have trouble putting a tux on? It's so easy. Just be careful. Ranma:Well, now that you're here. Give me a hand here. Can ya get me my shoes? Ukyo:(Hands him shoes)Here ya go. Ranma:(Tries to put it on)Ugh. Ugh. (Akane, finally dressed for the dance, exits from her room and is about to knock on Ranma's door but stops when she hears what sounds like moaning) Akane:(Thinking)What's going on in there?(Puts ear to door and listens) (Inside Ranma's room, Ranma is trying to get one shoe on his foot while Ukyo is trying to put the other foot.) Ranma:Damn, this is hard. It won't fit. Ukyo:(Holds shoe)Just push harder. Ranma:Okay. I'm just scared of breaking it. Ukyo:All you have to do is loosen it. That's all.(Taps Ranma's foot)Then it'll be easier to get it in. Ranma:(Tries to put shoe on again)Ugh. It still won't fit. Ukyo:(Jokes)Maybe we oughta rub some oil on it so it'll slide in easier. Ranma:Ha ha. Real funny. C'mon, we have to hurry up. Akane'll be ready any minute. Ukyo:What do you want me to do? Ranma:You push. I'll just keep myself stiff and it should be easier. All this moving around is making it harder. Ukyo:No. You push. I'll try and keep still. I'll just hold it.(Holds shoe tightly) (Outside, Akane's hands are clenched into fists) Akane:......... (Inside Ranma's room, Ranma finally gets his shoes on. Now he's trying to put on his tie) Ranma:Ugh.(Struggles to get tie on right)Ugh. Ukyo:(Shakes head)Here, lettme try it. Ranma:Watch it. If you tug too hard, you're gonna pull it off. Ukyo:Sorry. I thought you like it to be tight. Ranma:Nah. Loose is okay. I don't mind. Ukyo:Well, I'm not used to this. I've never really done this before. Man, this is hard. Ranma:Of course it's hard. What do you expect?(Tries to fix tie again)You think I'll ever get used to this? Ukyo:Yeah. Practice makes perfect.(Notices Ranma's tense shoulders and places a hand on his shoulder)Man, you're tense. Will ya just loosen up already?(Tries to fix tie) Ranma:Me loosen up?(Pretending to be choking on tie) You loosen up.(Smiles) Ukyo:Fine. I'll loosen it up.(Loosens tie)How's that? Ranma:Much better. Ukyo:You're still tense, ya know. Ranma:(Shrugs his shoulders)I'm not used to it that's all. Well, at least I'm not as tense when I try doin' this by myself. (Outside, Akane is still listening) Akane:(To herself)H-he-he ma-mastur.. (Inside the room) Ukyo:You've done this by yourself? Ranma:Of course. If there's no one here to help, I hafta do this by myself. And I've done this many many times.(Thinking)So how come I STILL can't put a tuxedo on right? Ukyo:Well, if you've done this many many times, you should be a natural. Ranma:........ Ukyo(Chucks him his jacket)Here. Put this on. Ranma:I don't wanna put this on. Ukyo:Why not? Ranma:I don't like it. It'll also looks weird on me. Ukyo:Just put it on. Ranma:(Sighs)Fine(Quickly puts it out and extends arm out)This is very constricting. Heck, it even restricts blood flow. Well, how do I look? Ukyo:(Laughs)You look nice. Even though you don't really like wearing it. I would prefer seeing you wearing it than not. That's all. Ranma:(Notices wrinkles)Damn, it's wrinkled. Ukyo:Of course it's wrinkled. What did you expect? You haven't worn this in, what, over a year. Ranma:.....Well, that's why I don't wanna wear it. Ukyo:(Glares)Well don't take it off. Keep it on. Ranma: (Shrugs his shoulders)Fine.(Yawns) Ukyo:You look tired. Ranma:That's because I am. Ukyo:(Reaches into purse and produces a bottle of pills)Take these. Ranma:(Looks at bottle)What're these? Ukyo:Pills. Ranma:I know. What are they for? Ukyo:It'll help keep you up. Ranma:Really? Well, I shouldn't really use these. Can't you get addicted to them? Ukyo:Only if you use them constantly. Just use it this once. It'll be all right. Ranma:Okay. (Ranma opens bottle and takes a pill) Ranma:(Sarcastically)Wow, I can feel myself on the up and up already. Ukyo:(Smirk)Very funny. Just wait a few moment. It'll kick in soon enough. Ranma:Well, now what? (Ukyo shows him the cummerbund. Ranma shrugs his shoulders and extends his arms out so Ukyo could wrap it around his waist) (Akane, still listening, is now fuming) Ranma:(Chuckles)Hey, that tickles. Ukyo:Hold still. Quit squirming. Ranma:I'm squirming because of your hands. Ukyo:Whatever. (Ukyo smiles as she flicks Ranma's tie into his face) Ranma:Hey. Don't do that. Ukyo:You mean this(Flicks tie into Ranma's face again) Ranma:Hey, quit it.(Straightens tie)Hey quit playing with this. It's gonna sag if you keep flicking it like that. Ukyo:(Chuckles)I can't help it.(Feels fabric of tie in hands)I like the way this feels in my hand. Ranma:Yeah. So? Ukyo:It feels like silk. I love the way silk feels. It's so soft. Ranma:(Smiles)If you like it so much, why not go out and buy one yourself? Ukyo:I don't want to. I like yours. I want yours. Ranma:(Feels fabric)Wow, it really is soft. Ukyo:Told you. Ranma:It does feel nice.(Inspects tie more intently)I never really looked at this carefully but it really is nice. Ukyo:I've bought a few. Ranma:(Points to his tie)You mean bought a few like this? Ukyo:Well, not like yours. They're not all that great. Ranma:Oh? Ukyo:(Straightens Ranma's tie)Well, I only use `em occasionally. Ranma:Did you like those? I only have one, as you can see. Ukyo:Yeah. I have a whole bunch of them. Large, small, skinny, and long ones. I like yours the best. It's the perfect size. Ranma:(Shrugs his shoulders)Well, you're welcome to use it anytime ya like if that'll make you happy. Ukyo:(Hugs Ranma)Thanks. (At that moment, Akane has heard enough) Akane:That's it. I heard enough.(Produces a mallet out of nowhere and breaks the door open)Ranma!!! (Inside, she's Ukyo and Ranma hugging each other. Actually, it was only Ukyo hugging Ranma but rage kept her from seeing clearly) Ranma:I-It's not what you think, Akane. Akane:It's not what I think?!! I heard you and Ukyo talk!!!! BAKA!!!!! (Camera fades to black as we see Akane mallet Ranma into orbit) Well, there's yet another fanfic. I hold you liked reading this. I hope this was humorous enough to merit a response. Anyway, I'd like to thank Rumiko Takahashi for creating Ranma, and that I would never infringe on her works. I know. I know. The story itself it rather crude and very lemony in tones, but you can't actually call this a lemon simply because this story had nothing to do with sex ;) Also, I'd like to apologize for any spelling or grammar errors. Jeffrey "OneShot" Wong