Welcome to the first chapter of Ryouga Hibiki L.I.S. {lost in space}

An alternative universe, semi fusion saga.

    The Characters from Ranma 1/2, were created by the brilliant Rumiko Takahashi.
    The Characters from Tenchi Muyo, were created by Hitoshi Okuda, may his wrist never go limp.

<> indicates a foreign language being spoken.

What has happened before.

In this universe Ranma has, as a result of a run in with Herb of the Musk Dynasty, been trapped as a female from her first dip in the Nyanniichuan. She is not aware of Herb's part in this. She believes she is trapped as a result of falling into several springs right after falling in the Nyanniichuan. [She was a little upset with Genma, and it was foggy.] She has spent the three months prior to this story getting used to being a girl, and while she is not happy about it, she has adapted to a certain extent.
    Genma sank into despair, his son's loss of manhood scuttled his plans to retire in comfort to the Tendo training hall. Then, while looking through some old papers in his backpack, he came across an old agreement, written on a bar napkin, between himself and Noboyuki Masaki that was drawn up prior to Ranma's birth. It was a commitment to marry Noboyuki's son Tenchi, to Genma's child, if Genma should happen to have a daughter.
    After a brief, very convincing, and completely phony, display of attempted suicide on Genma's part, Ranma reluctantly agreed to fulfill her obligation to carry on the Saotome clan's blood line by marrying Tenchi.

    While exploring her new home town, Ranma ran into Ryouga Hibiki, and while she did not remember him, out of sympathy for the lost boy she escorted him to the train station. The possibility of scamming a free meal from the overly shy boy never entered her mind, really.
    Ranma only told Ryouga her name as she was leaving him. Putting two and two together, and surprisingly getting four, he gave chase, but took a wrong turn. Big surprise. The question is, how big a wrong turn did he take?
    

    Ryouga Hibiki. Lost in space. Part one
    Danger, Ryouga Hibiki, Danger
    Or: Piiigggssss, iiinnn Sppppaaacccce.
    

    Three months ago: Jusenkyo.

    Two young men wonder along the outskirts of the Valley of cursed springs. One of them dressed in an tiger stripped outfit, while the other is dressed more mundanely with the exception of a ratty, old grey fur cap. The one in the Tiger stripped outfit brushed aside some of the undergrowth that obscured the rim of the valley floor, and thrusts a banana he held in his other hand into the opening. With a noticeable lack of enthusiasm, he crooned in Chinese, "<here Monkey, Monkey. Come and get it boy.>"
    "<Girl, Lime.>" The boy in the fur cap said.
    "Eh?" The other boy glanced over at his companion, a puzzled look on his face.
    "<The Monkey. It's a girl now.>"
    "<But it was a boy Mint.>"
    "<True, but it's a girl now, and thanks to the Chiisuiton it'll stay that way.> " Lime couldn't argue with that, much as he would have liked to do so. A good argument would go a long way toward relieving the tedium of their present task. They continue to walk along in silence, their expressions and pace giving every indication that they are bored out of their skulls.
    "<Mint?>" Lime said, pausing in his activities.
    Mint looked over at Lime, and stopped walking as well. "<What?>"
    "<Don't you feel a little bit silly?>" Lime asked. He held up the banana he was carrying. "<I mean, wandering around trying to lure that nasty monkey out with this. I don't know why Herb-sama would want to find it. Not after what it did to him.>"
    "<Her!>"
    "<No, he used some hot water just as we were leaving. He's a he now, not a she.>"
    "<Oh. I guess your right then, but he might have gotten wet again, so her would be right.>" Mint looked pleased at this reasoning. He waited for Lime's comeback, but the Tiger boy only looked pained, and said.
    "<I hate these curses. They make my head hurt.>"
    Mint nodded in agreement, "<I wish we could go home, but you didn't hear Herb-sama's father when he found out what we did. He was very mad. He told Herb-sama that one does not make a girl just to satisfy your curiosity. He told Herb-sama that the Monkey girl was his responsibility, and he was not to come home until he found her." Mint sighed, in despair, the way things were going, they would be here for a very long time, then a thought occurred to him, and his face brightened. Turning to Lime he said, "
    "<What's that?>"
    "<If we find the Monkey, we get to see bare titties.>"
    Lime paused in mid stride, a look of shock on his face. Then he started frantically pawing through the bushes, crooning, "<here Monkey, sweet little bare titty Monkey. Come out, come out wherever you are. Let Uncle Lime have a good look at how you've grown.>"
    Mint grinned, but then as Lime began to move away from him he frowned. "<Hey, no fair, I thought of it first!>" he shouted after Lime. He rushed ahead of the Tiger boy and began to paw the brush aside himself. Lime, seeing this, rushed ahead of him, and so they began to leapfrog each other down the side of the valley. They were so intent on not letting the other get the first glimpse of bare titty, they missed noticing that they had moved out of the main valley, and were traveling up a small gully that cut through the high cliffs surrounding that side of Jusenkyo. The tall walls overhung the narrow gorge, and threw it into perpetual shadow. The shadows gave the gully a dark and ominous air that both boys ignored.
    As they moved farther up the small gorge the brush and trash that had fallen from above over the years made the going more and more difficult. Mint, much to his disgust, finally had to let Lime lead the way, using his superior strength to clear aside the obstructions. Lime, for his part was so intent on his activity, and on moving ahead, that he did not notice when the next object he tore from his path was not a tree, but a signpost containing a very long name, and an extremely stringent warning, as well as trailing several tattered wards from it's placard.
    Tossing the signpost off to the side, Lime took a step forward, and if Mint had not grabbed the back of his coat, he would have tumbled into a small pool surrounded on all sides by dense in- penetrable undergrowth. Lime gasped, and leaped backward, his heart pounding. Together he and Mint stared at the small pool.
    Turning to Lime, Mint said, "<Do you think it's cursed? It's awfully far away from the valley.>"
    "<Do you want to test it?>" Lime said, backing away from the crumbling edge of the pool.
    Mint looked down at his own footing and hastily backed up. "<No, I think I'll ask the guide later.>"
    A sudden sound in the underbrush caught their attention, and they both looked in the direction it came from, worried expressions on their face. This was Jusenkyo, anything could be in the bushes. The worries fled when a black furred form pushed its way out of the brush and looked up at them in entreaty. Or that was its intention. The face in front of them was not really suited for looking at anyone with entreaty. Its face was far more suited for expressions promising either rape, mayhem or random acts of senseless violence.
    Mint grimaced, "<That is the ugliest cat I've ever seen!>" A sudden growling in his stomach caused him to pause, and he finished his statement by saying. "<Let's eat it.>"
    Lime looked disgusted. "<Just because your ancestor was a dog . . .>"
    "<Wolf!>" Mint said with some heat. "<She was a wolf, not a dog.>"
    "<Whatever. I just wish you'd think of me that's all. My ancestor was a tiger. I can't go around eating cats.>" He looked closer. "<It is a cat isn't it?>"He said. His voice expressing some doubt as he took in the scared and seamed visage looking up at them through one eye, the other having been destroyed long ago, if the age of the scar across it was any indication. As he stared at the maimed animal in front of him, his stomach growled as well. A thoughtful look crossed his face. "<Let's toss it into the spring of drowned piglet, then we can both have something to eat, and it'll be a lot more tender.>"
    Mint blinked, he tried to think of some reason why not, not wanting to give in to a plan proposed by Lime so readily. Then, as his stomach growled yet again, he nodded in agreement. He crouched down, and crooned, "<Here kitty, kitty, come to uncle Mint you ugly black bastard, there's a good boy.>"
    

    Back at the Jusenkyo Guide's home.
    "<I assure you sir, the people in the surrounding area are very familiar with the springs. If they see a naked young girl behaving in the manner of a monkey. They will bring it to my attention.>"
    The Jusenkyo guide, for what felt like the hundredth time, was reassuring the Musk Dynasty Prince that the girl the prince had created, to find out more about females before he was to meet his arranged bride, would be found if she was still in the area. All the while he carefully kept his distaste from showing. He was not fond of the Musk the best of times. They no longer engaged in the practice turning innocent animals into human females with the Nyanniichuan, and then taking them for brides, not for over two hundred years, but the distaste he had felt when he had first been taught the history of the springs still colored his views of the Musk. He knew better then to let that distaste show however. The prince was not known for his tolerance. The Guide thanked the gods that the Prince had not been trapped like young Mr. Customer. He shuddered at the thought of Herb's attitude at that time of the month, if his current behavior was any indication of his normal aggravation level.
    He also felt a slight twinge of guilt. He knew full well why young Mr. Customer was trapped as a girl, and would remain that way. He had heard the Musk that day, and now knew they had been to the Nyanniichuan the day Mr. Customer fell in. They must have doused her with water from the Chiisuiton by accident, thinking she was the monkey they were currently searching for.
    He could have told her the truth. But he had learned enough of her character to know what her reaction would have been. She would have confronted the arrogant Prince, and demanded he restore her masculinity. Better by far that she be given the time to become a girl naturally, then to be forced to do so by the prince, and have to learn the hard way. The Musk's insular nature would have led them to believe that Mr. Customers speech was gibberish. The chattering of a monkey. They would have taken her back home with them, and forced her to learn how to become a girl. Mr. Customer would have fought, and that was where the danger lay. The guide was fully aware of how potent Herb and the rest of the Musk warriors were, and how little thought he or they would have given to Mr. Customers struggles and protestations. Mr. Customer might have been seriously injured in the struggle to turn him into a proper girl. No, he had done the right thing in not telling her the truth, he told himself.
    
    A sudden motion from the man beside him brought the guide
out of his musings.
    
    Herb drew himself up, and was about to arrogantly demand more positive measures be taken in finding the girl, when the sound of distant screaming distracted him. "<What?>" He started to say, when the source of the sound dashed past, and made all questions unnecessary.
    
    "<Get it off, get it off, get it off!>" Mint yelled, as he raced by his Prince and the Guide. Attached to his back was what appeared to be a small black tornado. Close on Mint's heels was Lime, waving the trunk of a good size tree and yelling.
    "<Hold still Mint! How can I hit it, if you keep running away like that?>"
    The two boys and their playmate disappeared over a low rise, but soon circled around behind it and re-appeared headed back toward Herb and the guide.
    With an annoyed look on his face, Herb raised a hand, and almost casually blasted the black whirlwind from Mint's back with a Chi blast. "<What is the meaning of this? I told you to find the Monkey Girl, not to play with the local wildlife!>"
    "<We're sorry Herb-sama.>" Lime said contritely. He picked up the limp body of the creature Herb had blasted, and held it up for his prince's inspection. "<We were hungry, and were going to drop this old cat we found in the pool of drowned piglet.>"
    The Jusenkyo Guide looked in horror at the limp animal in Lime's hand. He reached over and tugged frantically at the hem of Herb's shirt.
    Herb turned and glared at him. "<Stop that! I am a prince of the Jakou-Maneki, not a hand wipe.>" Ignoring the guide's efforts to inform him of the mistake his men were making, he turned back to them. "<As for you two. Are you fools? This is Jusenkyo, and you speak casually of throwing that animal into the spring of drowned piglet. Have you no sense?>"
    The guide heaved a sigh of relief. At least one of them had some realization of the possibilities.
    "<Take the creature and throw it into the spring of drowned deer. That way there will be enough for all.>"
    The Guide face faulted.
    "<Where is the Spring of drowned Deer?>" Mint asked.
    Herb told him, and then told him again. After the second time through the directions, he snatched the limp body from Lime in annoyance, and said. "<Never mind, I'll do it myself.>"
    The Guide, who had recovered slightly, raised a hand, and then let it drop. What was the use? They never listened. Well, they would find out soon enough that the animal was a cursed form. He recognized the creature. He hoped it had not originally been the same species as its present form. That was one personality the world was well rid of. It was unlikely however. The old monk had warded that spring heavily, in order to prevent that specific situation from ever arising. As long as the creature who fell in was not the same, all it would acquire would be the body, and not the mind. He shuddered as he thought of the tales he had heard of the original. He decided to take a walk over to the remote spring later, and make sure all was in order. No telling what those two fools might have done.
    Sitting down he pulled out his pipe and started to tamp some tobacco into it. As he lit it, he mused about the creature that was currently on its way to an unexpected swim. Going over in his mind, the features listed in the old scrolls.
    Black as the inside of a demon. Check.
    An eye like a ball of fire. Check.
    The other eye closed permanently as a result of the scar that ran from its chin to its forehead. Check.
    Ears tattered and chewed from a lifetime of battle. Check.
    He frowned suddenly. There had been nothing in the scrolls about a yellow diamond shaped jewel in the middle of its forehead, which was peculiar. It was the sort of thing you would think they would mention.
    He took a puff on his pipe and blew out a cloud of smoke. Round about now the three of them should be reaching the spring of the drowned dear. He imagined the cold water would revive the animal. He sat and puffed a little more, then stood and walked down the path to watch the show. Soon he heard distant yelling, and in the distance three figures appeared, moving rapidly toward him. A little while later a very tattered looking Herb-chan went running past. The now familiar black Tornado on her heels.
    "Get it off, get it off, get it off!" She screamed, just a touch of panic entering her normally haughty voice.
    "Hold still Herb-sama. I'll knock it out." Lime cried, once again swinging his tree trunk bludgeon around his head in vast circles.
    Mint meanwhile had noticed that the cat had left very little of Herb-chan's shirt in one piece, and was calling out in tones of entreaty. "Herb-sama, run this way. Please Herb-sama, come this way. At least turn around. Please Herb-sama, I want to see titties."
    The Guide watched as the four of them disappeared in the distance. Well, at least he should have a little peace while the Prince recovered from her/his would be meal.
    Maybe she'd learn not to bite off more then she could swallow. At the very least, she should learn that it was hard to blast something with chi, when that something was currently bitting chunks out of your ass. He tamped another bowl full of tobacco and thought for a moment about what he had observed of the prince.
    <"Naaaa"> he said to himself, and lit up.

    
    Present time: Shopping district near the Masaki home's former location.

    Ryouga Hibiki was back on earth, and it had only taken him a day to do it. Not only that, he was back where he started from, only a block or two from where he had met the girl calling herself Ranma Saotome. Luck was surely smiling on him. Soon he would know if she was in truth his hated rival, or whether she was, as was much more likely, someone whose name he had misheard.
    Over the last three days, he had come to doubt more and more that she could possible be Ranma, his Ranma anyway. She was too cute for one thing, and much too kind. She had taken him to the train station with no thought other then charity. His Ranma would never have done that, not unless he had some ulterior motive.
    He chastised himself once again. How could he have thought such a sweet innocent girl was that coward Ranma. Still, even though he was now sure he had misheard, he could not afford to let any lead, no matter how slim, go by. Unlikely as it seemed, the Jusenkyo springs made it a possibility that the red headed girl could be Ranma, and that was something he could not afford to overlook.
    He had lost all trace of Ranma after following him to the valley of sorrows. He was sure Ranma had come back to Japan, but Ryouga's family friend, Uncle Hiricho, had not been able to find him listed in any of the school districts, so if he was back in Japan, he was not attending any schools. That left Ryouga without a clue as to where to look next. So, lacking any other goal, he might as well search out the red head.
    He smiled a rather sappy smile to himself. While the little red head likely knew nothing that could help him, he could think of worse ways of spending his time than by looking for her. All it would take was a dose of hot water and he would know positively if she was, or was not the coward he was looking for. And if, as seemed likely, she was not . . . He closed his eyes, and pictured her cute face in his mind again. The sappy smile spread further across his face, and then was wiped clean away as an unwelcome, but familiar voice cried out.

    "YOU!! The practical joker!"
    Ryouga's eyes flew open, his daydream shattered, he stared in horror at the shrunken figure of the old storekeeper who had threatened to call the police on him three days before.

    The old man was as happy as his sour disposition allowed. Last time he had been foiled in his efforts to teach this punk some lessons by that red headed tramp, much to his disgust. Now he looked up at the startled and shocked boy with glee in his eyes. "Got you now boy! No little trollop around to save you this time!" The old man cried out in triumph. His glee was short lived however. The instant Ryouga got over his shock, he turned tail and bolted, leaving the old man coughing in his dust. Weakly, in a thready voice, he cursed the disappearing boy, vowing to get him eventually.
    The old storekeeper's mood was not improved when he turned to go back into his store, only to find his way blocked by some purple haired street walker who was using his newsstand as her personal library. One by one she was picking up the sleaziest tabloids, and leafing through them carefully, not missing a single page of lurid pictures. When she was done with each one, she dropped it to the ground and took another, an action that drove the old man almost mad with rage. Practically dancing, so intense was his anger, he screamed at her.
    "Get out, get out!! Take your wares and peddle them somewhere-" His diatribe cut off abruptly as he starred cross-eyed in shock at the long, and very sharp sword, that had appeared seemingly from nowhere, the tip of which was now pressed against his Adams apple.
    Meanwhile the girl seemingly payed him no mind whatsoever, not even sparing him a glance as she continued to leaf through the various publications on the counter with one hand, while her other hand held the sword steady as a rock.
    At last she gave a happy cry of satisfaction, and pulled a page out of the paper she was currently perusing. Turning to the old man, who by now was quite pale, she held up the page and said, "you see girl? Or panda?"
    Afraid of doing anything to upset this obviously deranged person, the store keeper obediently looked at the page she had thrust in his face. The headline, DINE AND DASH PANDA PHOTOGRAPHED, showed the story on that page to be about an old topic. For the last two months the tabloids, and even some of the more mainstream papers had been talking about the dine and dash Panda.
    The creature got its name from its first appearance. Some crazy waitress claimed to have seen one of her customers change into a Panda, and in the ensuing panic caused by its appearance she said it had run off without paying for its meal.
    It had been a one day joke on the local newscasts. It would have been forgotten by the next day, but then other reports started coming in of a very large Panda wondering the islands. The local Zoo's all claimed their Pandas were accounted for. The PROC, claimed all the Pandas in their country were accounted for, thanks to their superior bureaucracy. However, they said, if there was a Panda, he, or she, was the property of the PROC, and must be returned at once. Since then, Panda sightings had become such a common occurrence, that now, two months, and many wild Panda chases later, only the cheapest tabloids paid the slightest attention to them.
    Now however, there was a new element to the story. At least according to the paper in front of him. Someone had finally gotten a clear shot of the mysterious Panda. Something that had never happened before. That alone had convinced the more sensible people that it did not exist. In a land of fanatical photographers, how could such a creature go un-photographed. That had changed now.
    There it was, as plain as the nose on his face. It was walking down an empty street in a pouring rain. And trailing along behind it, hauling two large backpacks was . . .
    "Her!! The tramp!! It's her. I'd know that sneaky little piece of baggage anywhere." Forgetting all about the girl with the sword, he snatched the page from her hand, and began to peruse the story intently. To his disappointment, there was no real information on the girl, only speculation that she might be a runaway circus performer who had taken the Panda with her.
    The old man was suddenly reminded of his female visitor, when the sword that had been pressed against his throat was withdrawn, and a hand like iron replaced it, pulling him around to face the purple haired girl, who was quite angry at being ignored. At the same time, under the anger she seemed pleased. She shook him, and demanded.
    "You know girl! Where is Girl? You tell Shampoo. Now!!"
    The old man gasped and choked until she realized that he needed air to speak. Releasing him, she stood there waiting for an answer, fingering the edge of her sword suggestively as she did so. He looked at the sword and gulped. Hurriedly he recounted his encounter with the red haired girl. And ended up by saying.
    "She must have taken the dumb one for all he was worth pretty quick. Either that, or it did not take long for them to complete their 'business'." He practically sneered the word 'business'. He continued quickly when he saw the girl in front of him frown angrily. "Anyway, I saw her later the same day. She was walking home with the Masaki kid. Busy little tramp."
    "Where this Masaki?"

    A little while later, Shampoo starred in disbelief at the vacant lot in front of her. A house had rested here. That was easy to see, and if her skills as a tracker were to be believed, the ground had not been exposed to the elements for more than a day or so. But how was it possible.
    "Looking for someone deary." The voice of an elderly woman spoke out from behind her. Turning, Shampoo spied the source of the voice, an older woman, an inquisitive glint in her eyes. She was dressed rather plainly, and had a pair of eyeglasses hanging from her neck by a gold chain.
    Shampoo bowed in respect to the elder, and pulled out the newspaper page she was still carrying. "Shampoo look for this girl. Old man at shopping store, he say she come here with Masaki boy. You know?"
    "Hmm, let me see," the old woman said. Reaching down, she took hold of her eyeglasses and held them between the page and her eyes. "Hmm, can't say as I've ever seen the girl before." Shampoo dropped her head in disappointment, but the woman's next words brought her head back up just as quickly.
    "I wonder if she's young Tenchi's Fiance? When Masaki-san called me this morning he mentioned that Tenchi's new fiance was staying with them out by the shrine." She paused and looked over at the now vacant lot. "They were very fortunate to be out when the gas explosion destroyed their house. It blew out windows for blocks around. Completely destroyed their house, not a scrap of it left. It was almost as bad as that time . . ." She would have kept on for hours, but Shampoo interrupted.
    "Where shrine?"

    Some distance away, a pair of foreigners, dressed all in black, took in the scene with some satisfaction. Or at least the older of the pair did. The younger of the two was not altogether happy.
    "Gas? You people have been using that old wheeze about swamp gas for fifty years man. Couldn't you come up with anything a little more original K?"
    "It does the job Slick, that's all that matters. Come on, we have a flight to catch."
    "So we going out to this here Misaki shrine?"
    "Nope, out of our jurisdiction."
    "Out of our jurisdiction!? I thought the whole earth was our jurisdiction. What's so special about this Masaki place."
    "Sorry slick, need to know only, and you don't need to know. Let's go home." The older man turned and walked away, his companion following after, complaining all the way.
    "Need to know, need to know! What is this crap? I thought I got to know everything! How the hell can I do my job if you give me this need to know shit?" His voice faded out as their clothing blended with the darkness, and they disappeared.


    Present time: one hour later, somewhere.
    
    Ryouga ran with all his might, trying to put some distance between himself and the crazy old man who seemed determined to put him in jail. Ryouga had a positive phobia about small enclosed spaces. No doubt a result of living most of his life under an empty sky. The thought of being locked up, unable to travel, filled him with dread. Not that he would not have objected to a little curtailing of his present range of travel that is.
    
    It had started shortly after Jusenkyo. He would turn a corner and there would be two suns in the sky, or three moons. The animals would have six legs instead of four. Then he would turn around another corner, and everything, and everyone would be back to normal. It had taken him awhile to accept the fact that he was leaving the planet entirely, but even with his talent for self denial, he had finally had to admit what was happening.
    
    Ryouga plowed to a halt, just barely avoiding running down the three foot tall Tyrannosaurus rex that was walking down the street in front of him. The small tyrant king did not notice, being deep in conversation with a six foot mouse. Ryouga looked around frantically and made out no less then eight distinct species of what appeared to be intelligent life.
    His head slumped, and he moaned in despair, "Not again." Then, he quickly gathered himself together and looked for a good place to hide. Bitter experience had taught him to make himself scarce until he had determined how the locals felt about people with his appearance.
    Spying an alley, he ducked into it. This was not as good a hiding space as it might have been on Earth. Being as it was well lit, broad, and clean. Hurrying down it, he came to what he was looking for. A cross lane that ran along the back of the stores that fronted the street he had just vacated. This was much more cluttered than the main alley, being filled with refuse bins. Best of all, there was no one in it other than himself. Deliveries would be made in the late evening, but for now, it was a sanctuary.
    His respite was short lived. Before he had time to gather his thoughts, and plan what he was going to do, voices coming from the main alley warned him to make himself scarce.

    He had barely managed to slip himself inside a large refuse container when four figures barged into the side alley. Only the fact that the attention of the three larger creatures were completely on the smaller one saved him from discovery. Hastily he lowered the lid on his container down, leaving only a slit through which he could observe the proceedings.
    Ryouga blinked as he took in the scene in front of him. What looked like two large hairless dogs dressed in uniform brown outfits with placards hanging around there necks were accompanying the biggest snake Ryouga had ever seen. And that was saying a lot considering some of the places he had been. They were currently threatening a small barn yard animal.
    The animal in question gave every indication of being nothing more than a black piglet. It looked to weigh in at about ten to fifteen pounds, and had hooves rather then hands and feet. Its body's shape showed that it would be most comfortable going about on all fours. All in all it had none of the characteristics Ryouga had learned in the last month or so that meant intelligence. Despite its appearance however, it gave every indication of being fully sentient. It was currently, in defiance of its body's shape, standing on its hind feet pleading with the giant snake. Apparently the pig had neglected to pay an outstanding loan, and the others were here to collect.
    "Please. Just one more day. The contract was not due for another day. I'll have it in just one more day." The terror stricken little alien cried.
    
    To his amazement, Ryouga had discovered in the last few months that all aliens spoke Japanese. It was puzzling, but convenient, and he was not a person to look a gift horse in the mouth. He never stopped to consider that everyone on earth also seemed to speak Japanese, he just took that for granted.
    
    "To late Oolong." The snake said in answer to his victim pleading. "You knew the conditions when you borrowed the money. You were given two payment options. You defaulted on the first, now I'm collecting on the other. Boys!" The last was directed at the two thugs flanking the little alien.
    They took their cue, and each of them firmly grasped one of the smaller alien's legs and they hoisted him high into the air over the snake. All the while the small pig was protesting that he had one more day to go on his loan. Ryouga gasped in horror as the snake raised his head, and unhinged his jaw. "Down the hatch Oolong." The snake said, his voice greatly distorted by his wide spread jaws.
    Two dripping fangs, at least four inches long, dropped down from the roof of the snakes mouth. Glistening drops of some form of liquid sparkled on the tip of each backswept fang. For a second the small alien hung still, terror apparently having frozen him. Then, as the two hench creatures started to lower him, he began to squeal and cry in panic. "You can't do this, it's illegal. I'm a sentient being."
    A look of anticipation glinted in the eyes of the snake. "Not any more my dear friend, now you're lunch." He elevated his body slightly to hasten his meal.
    Suddenly, the small pig seemed to contort his body in a manner that should have been impossible, given his shape. Somehow, however, he managed to twist around, and sink his fangs, even more impressive for his size then snake's had been, into the hand of one of the thugs holding him. With a muffled curse the thug let go. The little pig was left hanging by only one leg, swinging side to side as the thug still holding him tried to avoid his companions fate. For the snake's part, the thugs employer bobbed and weaved his head, trying to keep his gapping jaws under the wildly gyrating pig.

    A sudden whirring in the air was the only warning the snake had as a blurred yellowish something flashed through his wide open jaws. He felt two small objects fall into the bottom of his mouth, and reflexively, he spat whatever it was out. For a second he stared in shock as the severed remains of his fangs dropped to the ground, unable to believe his eyes. Then he looked up, a dangerous glint in his eyes. He glared daggers at the humanoid biped currently climbing out of an open refuse bin.
    "761-617, 671-176, kill him." He said to his thugs in a furious, highly controlled voice.

    With a minimal effort, denoting frequent practice, the two hulking thugs moved into action. The one still holding the pig, simply dropped the smaller alien, dismissing him as unimportant in the coming event. They walked toward Ryouga, and together, in perfect choreography, flicked their wrists, causing a heavy length of metal to slide into each of their hands from up their sleeves. A leather tether was wrapped around their wrists, assuring that whoever they were fighting could not relieve them of their weapons of choice.
    "You shouldn't ought to have done that little buddy." The larger of the two said in a rather high pitched voice for such a large creature. "Now we're going to have to hurt you bad."
    "What he said." The other one said in a deep base.

    Ryouga slipped his belt out of the loops on his pants, and with a flick of his wrist, aided by a slight push of Ki, caused it to straighten into rigidity. He was almost trembling in the intensity of his rage. The way the little alien had fought back against overwhelming odds, had gained Ryouga's admiration, and the casual way the three thugs had treated the other alien, behaving as if he was some sort of quick snack had hit a nerve, and gained them his enmity. Combining all that with the frustration of being lost so far from home, after so recently being there, made him even more disinclined then would normally be the case to back down from the two large creatures.

    The two aliens were at that moment eyeing Ryouga's belt with jaundiced eyes. They clearly did not like the look of it, but it was not giving off the telltale high pitched whine of an illegal vibro sword, and gave no other sign of being of any real danger, so they advanced, batons held at the ready. Then, in a smoothly practiced move, they lunged, the smaller one went high, aiming for Ryouga's head, the larger one brought his arm around in an arc that ended with his weapon traveling up between Ryouga's legs.

    Ryouga casually moved his belt into the path of the smaller aliens bludgeon. This had the result of leaving the thug holding a stub. Unable to stop it, his arm continued its forward motion, and he was forced to continue moving in a stumbling series of half steps in order to keep from falling on his face. It was a wasted effort. As he leaned forward, Ryouga's leg traveled upward, and caught him in his large soft belly. He let out an agonized whoof, as he flew backward and slammed into the wall. As he fell limply to the ground, a small bag came loose from his belt. The small black piglet saw this, and began to make his way cautiously around the fight. Heading straight toward the small bag.
    Ryouga looked after the first alien for a second, gauging his condition, then he looked across at the other alien, who was gazing at him in shock. Both their gazes traveled down to where Ryouga's free hand was grasping the canine's weapon. It had been stopped just short of Ryouga's family jewels, having smacked solidly into an immovable object. Namely, the palm of Ryouga's hand. He looked back up at the alien, and shook his head sorrowfully. Then his eyes filled with rage, and he slowly brought his hand up, dragging the weapon, and the alien who was attached to it by the lanyard around his wrist, upward. With a bunching of his muscles, Ryouga heaved, and the creature wailed as it was sent sailing through the air, to impact the wall besides his fallen comrade.
    Ryouga turned his attention back to the Snake, who was in a state of shock. He looked, first at Ryouga, then at his hired help. For a second he looked uncertain, then his eyes fell on the severed fangs laying on the ground in front of him, and his expression hardened. Looking up at Ryouga, he stared intently at the lost boy. Then he began to talk.
    "Now, now," he said, in a soft voice. "There is no need for violence. We were only trying to throw a scare into the little fellow. We never meant him any harm. Why don't we discuss this like civilized creatures?" His eyes seemed to bore into Ryouga's, and the lost boy found himself sinking into their swirling depths as the snake melodious voice droned on.

    Over by the two fallen aliens, the little black pig looked over his shoulder and grimaced. Kaa was up to his old tricks, using Ki manipulation of his voice to mesmerize a victim. Normally he restricted it to the voters, preferring his meals struggling. It looked like he was prepared to make an exception in the young bipeds case however. And it looked like the youngster was falling into the trap.
    Oolong grinned nastily. It was most unsporting of Kaa. He would have to do something about that. Nosing through the bag in front of him, he freed two lumps of metal that rolled out and stopped when he placed both front hooves on them. They shimmered for a second, and then unfolded and wrapped themselves around each of his front hooves. A few seconds later he stood up on his hind legs and looked in satisfaction at the two cybernetic hands now adorning the ends of his legs. They might not be up to his usual pair, but they at least gave him a chance to join the fight. Not that he would be able to do much against someone the size of Kaa. Not for the first time he cursed the limitations of his body.

    His people were a second generation intelligence. Created when a company on their home planet had tried to breed a superior pet. The scientist they hired for the job was a little too good at it. Instead of producing a friendly, intelligent, easily trained house pet. The scientist had produced a genetically stable race whose intellect rivaled the residents of their home planet.
    Galactic law allowed no fancy interpretations of its rules regarding sentient beings. If they were intelligent, they had rights, and so the members of the new race were granted citizenship.
    That had been over seven thousand years ago, and now Oolong's people were valuable members, not only of the culture of their home planet, but also of the galactic community as a whole.
    There were problems however. Because of their origin, they had never naturally evolved grasping members, a great disadvantage for a sentient race. Galactic law forbid inheritable genetic manipulations of a sentient species. Any member of his race who could afford the gene surgery could be altered and grow hands, but the modifications could only be surface. Permanent changes that would be passed on to his or her children were forbidden. It caused a great deal of bitterness among some members of his race. But on the whole, the general population understood the reasons.
    Most members of his race settled for cybernetic hands. They were as good, if not better, then the real thing, and much cheaper. The company that had created them had been forced to take parental responsibility, and the trust fund set up so many years ago supplied the money needed to supply all of his people with the artificial hands. Cybernetic vocal cords were also part of the package. Their only disadvantage over biological systems, was the ease with which they could be removed or disabled.
    Which was what had happened to Oolong. He had been taking by surprise, and his hands neutralized and removed before he could put up a good fight. Still he had managed to put the third of the three brothers out of action. He would be a long time recovering from that bite, Oolong thought with a mental chuckle. Might even keep him from fathering more little bastards. There were more then enough of his clan polluting this planet with their presence. When you were as small as Oolong was, you quickly learn that fighting clean was a good way to get killed.
    
    Looking back over his shoulder at the two still figures of his rescuer and Kaa, Oolong saw that he had no time to waste. Kaa had already thrown a loop of his body around the strangers shoulders, and was staring intently into his eyes from a distance of only a few inches. Thank the hundred little gods that the stranger had clipped Kaa's fangs, otherwise, he would be on his way to Kaa's stomach, and whatever manner of afterlife his people believed in. As it was, Oolong would have to act fast. Even without his paralyzing poison, Kaa could still do the intruder in by crushing him in his coils.
    He hurried over to the two almost stationary creatures. But once there, he was at a loss as to what to do. As soon as he had donned his Cyber hands, he had sent out a cry for help, using the built in transceiver, he had also switched on a recording device at the same time. Help would be a while arriving however. He had to do something now. Un-like his normal hands, these cheap loaners had almost no offensive capability. That left him with his limited natural arsenal. He eyed Kaa's thick body for a second, then discarded any idea of biting the snake. The only part of Kaa he could get his jaws around was his tale, and all that would do, would be to make Kaa madder then he already was. That left the stranger. Oolong grimaced. It went against his nature to treat the one who had saved his life this way, but he had no option. Crawling over one of Kaa's coils, he opened wide, and sank his teeth into one of the bipeds lower limbs.

    "Ahhhhh!! shit! What the hell!?" Ryouga screamed. Bending forward as fast as he could, he reached down to dislodge the small pig that had attached itself to his legs by its teeth. In doing so, he slammed his head into the snout of the snake whose mouth was inches from his face. The snake recoiled in pain, and Ryouga suddenly realized how close he had come to being eaten, again! A rage, that made his previous anger pale in comparison, filled him, and he once again reached downward, but not for the pig this time.
    Resuming his downward swoop, he wrapped his arms around the massive column that was Kaa's mid section and heaved. Straining every muscle in his body, he stood upright, and began to spin.
    
    There is a much used saying on Earth as to the room needed to swing a cat, dead or otherwise. There is no such reference in regards to Reticulans, of which species Kaa was a member. There were several reasons for this, but the main and principle one was, the average length of a Reticualan adult runs in the neighborhood of between thirty five and forty feet. There simply are not that many places one could swing one. That is, if one had the desire to do so, lots did, and if one had the ability to do so, which very few did. Ryouga however, had both the inclination, and the ability, as an astounded, but pleased, Oolong and a dismayed Kaa were discovering.
    
    "Shwhack" Oolong smiled in appreciation as Kaa's head impacted on the side of the alley with a meaty sound. His tail followed soon after, and then his head again as Ryouga whirled in circles. Kaa tried desperately to coil himself down his own body to get at his tormentor, but some force was keeping his body rigid. Try as he would, he could not force it to bend to his command. Soon he gave up trying, his scrambled brain no longer able to send messages down the length of his body.
    Sensing his foe's helplessness, an exhausted Ryouga released the whirling snake, and let him fly across the alley. He impacted the alley wall above his hirelings with a meaty, squashing sound.. The two thugs, who had recovered consciousness some time before, were in the process of sneaking away when Kaa's seven hundred pounds hit the wall above them. They both looked up, panic filling their eyes as they contemplated their immediate future. Then their expressions turned to looks of dull resignation as their boss slid down the wall, and pinned them under his inert body.

    The sounds of sirens filled the air, and Ryouga looked around in panic. One constant in the universe he had found, was the fact that police used loud strident horns or sirens to announce their coming, thereby giving any able bodied criminal a chance to escape, and leaving the halt and the lame to fall into the gentle hands of the local constabulary. Looking around frantically, Ryouga spotted the form of the little black pig he had gone to all this trouble for. It was marching in a determined way toward the fallen snake.
    While Ryouga could sympathize with the little alien's desire for vengeance, they had no time for it. They had to get out of here, now! Ryouga's childhood had left him with a habit of obedience and respect toward the police. Various officers had returned him to his home innumerable times, usually sticky with ice cream. However, his relations with them over the last several years were not as pleasant. The police officer who would buy a lost child an ice cream, and offer comfort, took an entirely different view toward a lost teenager. Especially if he happened to get lost in some ladies bedroom or bath. Ryouga earlier experiences, and cultural upbringing, would not let him offer resistance to a police officer. So, he had learned to make himself scarce when they were around, or about to be. Taking two long strides, he swooped down and plucked the little pig from the ground. "Come on, we have to get out of here." He said.
    "Put me down you hairless tree humper!" The little creature ordered in a loud voice. "I have a job to do, and I'm not going anywhere till it's done. This, is one job I'm not letting anyone else have the pleasure of doing."
    "You can't, the police are coming. We have to get away from here."
    "You big idiot. I am the police!!!"
    Ryouga froze. Looking down in disbelief, he saw that the small creature had activated some sort of device in the metallic palm of his left hand, and a glowing hologram floated in the air over it. Ryouga had no idea what it meant, but something in the little pig's eyes made him believe he was speaking the truth. His stomach fell. He was trapped, no escape. As he stared at the little creature in his arms with numb resignation, a hoard of assorted creatures dressed in a common uniform piled into the alley.
    "Put the Inspector down, and raise your grasping extremities to a position where we may observe them!" One of the larger creatures yelled, while pointed the requisite BFG at him.
    "Belay that!" The little black pig yelled in return. "This is not the criminal! The criminals are over there you damn pinheads!"
    While the assorted police officers looked on in surprise, the little alien jumped from Ryouga's arms and trotted across to the fallen snake, his cybernetic hands curled up to act as feet.
    "You must be mistaken sir. That's counsel member Kaa."
    "No mistake officer." Oolong said, his voice cold enough to freeze air. "I'm afraid Counselbeing Kaa has a rather unsavory habit." Reaching the fallen Reticulan, Oolong, reached forward and peeled back an eyelid. Shaking his head, he turned to Ryouga. "Goddamn it kid, you really did a number on him. It's going to be hours before I get to read the son-of-a-bitch his rights."
    Ryouga, looking nervous at being surrounded by police, even if none of them looked remotely like the officers from back home, shuffled his feet. "I'm sorry, I was just . . ."
    "Crap kid, stop apologizing for everything. You did good, real good. If it weren't for you, I'd be well on my way to being snake shit." His comments caused several officers to look up, expression of disbelief on their faces. The ranking officer ventured a question.
    "What is the Counselbeing charged with, if I may ask sir?"
    "The charge is attempted ingestion of a sentient species." The various uniformed officers murmured in shock. This was as about as serious a charge as could be laid in a multi species culture, far outweighing something as minor as murder.
    
    The Reticulans were pure carnivores, whose nature necessitated them eating their food very, very fresh. This had caused certain rumors that some members of that race had acquired a taste for some of the smaller species in the galactic federation. But it had been generally dismissed as a racist rumor. If it was not . . .this could be bad.
    "Are you sure sir?" The lion like officer who seemed to be in charge of the locals said. "We have a very large Reticulan population. It would be very bad if the general populace should take it into its head that they are eating other sentient beings in the population. We could be looking at massive rioting."
    "And what are you suggesting officer, that we allow the Counselbeing to go his way, and hope no one else ever stumbles across his little gastronomical hobby." Somewhere during the last minute or two the small black pig had acquired a thick black cigar, or cigar equivalent. He now shifted that to the corner of his mouth and sneered up at the local cop. "For your information, It was the Reticulan ambassador who asked that I be assigned to investigate this case. He seemed prepared to take the risk of adverse publicity. Or do you believe officer, that because this scum here has certain unsavory habits, that the whole race is tarred with the same brush? Not a very enlightened attitude I'm afraid." Oolong shook his head in mock regret.
    "Or maybe it something different that motivates you?" Oolong suddenly said, in a voice as cold as the liquid hydrogen down at the space port. "Kaa had no reason to ignore the contract I signed with him. He knew my cover identity couldn't make the payment. He had no reason to do me in today. As far as he should have known, he could have looked forward to a buffet tomorrow. But all of a sudden he just had to have a Brinigin dinner. I wonder. Do you suppose someone could have let him know that I was not all I seemed?"
    Oolong took the cigar from his mouth and looked speculatively at the lit end for a second. Then he looked up at the much bigger officer. "Say, you were the only one who knew that fact." He said in a nonchalant voice. Then his expression hardened and he snapped
out. "Weren't you!?"
    While Oolong had been talking, the leader of the police contingent had grown progressively more nervous. When he made the finale denouncement, the officer turned and bolted. Straight into the chest of a massive alien cop, who looked for all the world like a Minotaur from Earth's legends. The would be escapee found himself staring at a small pair of pilot wings just before he bounced back to land on his ass. He bared his fangs at the obstructing officer, who in turn bared his. The difference between the teeth of a carnivore and a herbivore were graphically demonstrated for anyone caring to take notes, no one. However, despite the feline officer's much more impressive fangs, the sheer bulk of the bull man, and the look in his little red eyes kept the cat man firmly on the ground.

    Oolong sauntered around the fallen officer, ignoring the angry glare the feline directed toward him. Shaking his head in sorrow, he said. "I'm very disappointed in you Bilford. Your great aunt Felicity was my partner for years. She's going to be very disappointed in you."
    Bilford snarled at the pig in front of him. "It's she who brought shame to her ancestors. To think she associated with such as you. Our revered ancestors Anna and Uni must be writhing in there graves."
    "If they are, it's because they have company." Oolong said with a smirk. "The only fights those two were ever any good at were the ones between the sheets. And I should know, I was there when they tried for the empress." He shook his head ruefully. "What a pair of bimbos."
    "You food creature, how dare you!!" Bilford screamed. He lunged at Oolong, who had walked up between Bilford's spread legs while he had been talking. Bilford's claws were fully extended in preparation of ending the little creatures life right then and there. His roar suddenly turned into a whimper, and his lunge ended inches short of the little pig.
    Moving with deceptive speed, Oolong had reached forward as Bilford started his lunge, and using his cybernetic hand, had grasped Bilford in an area common to most Bipedal mammalian males. His undercover hands might lack the capabilities of his own personal digits, but the fingers did end in satisfactorily sharp points. A fact that Bilford's tearing eyes gave mute testimony to.
    Oolong gazed up at the whimpering cat, a look of disgust on his porcine face. "I should really lay some serious hurt on you Bilford. You turned a fellow officer over to that pile of crap over there." He said, gesturing at Kaa. "You abused my trust, and worst of all you shammed your great aunt, who spent years earning back the reputation your distant aunts cost your family. But I'm an officer of the law. I'm not going to do a damn thing other then turn you over to the proper authority. I'm not going to let my personal anger affect my judgment. I'm not going to sink to your level." Heaving a regretful sigh, Oolong released his grip, turned and took a step away, then he paused. His shoulders seemed to hunch, and he slowly turned back.
    "The hell I'm not!!!" He yelled! With that, he swung both arms forward, cyber hands curled together into one big fist. With a meaty thunk, he buried them into his foes most sensitive spot. What little bare skin the feline possessed turned pale green, and with a wheezing groan he curled up into a ball and fell over onto his side, hands cupped protectively over his abused midsection.

    "Leave him!" Oolong ordered, when the other officers moved to secure his fallen foe, several of them keeping their bodies turned sideways to the angry black pig. "He's not going anywhere for a while. Let him thing about what he did. Let him think of how the mighty hunter couldn't even stand up to a little Brinian."
    Oolong gave the fallen being one final kick, then he turned and looked Ryouga up and down. "Come on kid, let's get something to eat. You can tell me all about why you were hiding in that trash container while I fill my belly." The pugnacious pig turned to the large Minotaur officer who was now in charge, "You have my number, call me when the honorable council being Kaa wakes." It was not a request. Not paying any further attention to any of the beings in the alley, he headed out.
    Ryouga's nervous expression came back in spades. He was feeling a little lost, and not just geographically, and more then slightly out of his depth. He seemed to have lost control of his life sometime in the last few minutes. Having no other option at the moment, he followed after the little pig as it trotted out to the alley, trailing a cloud of smoke like an toy steam locomotive from the cigar that had never left his mouth during the fight. As he strolled along behind the pig, he could not help but think of an old saying he had once heard. Something about no good deed going unpunished.

    With a sigh of pleasure, the little pig leaned back in his specially constructed chair, and belched loudly. "Don't know about you kid, but almost getting eaten makes me ravenous,"he said with a grin. An attentive waiter appeared with a check, and a large black cigar. "Thank you." The strange alien said. Bitting the end off the cigar, he lit it up and placed it in his mouth. Blowing out a puff of fragrant smoke, he watched as it floated lazily in the air for a few seconds, then swirled up to some sort of vent in the ceiling, never quite reaching Ryouga's nose. Several puffs later, he looked over at Ryouga.
    "So kid I'm agent P, special branch. Who are you? And what brings you to these parts?" He said in a laconic voice. The agent's interest was not nearly as casual as he made out. The young being in front of him had set his instincts to quivering. Beings who could do what he could do were rare and far between, and they were generally well known.
    The basic scanner built into his undercover hands could make nothing of him. When he had used it on the way over it has shown nothing but gibberish. It must have been damaged in the scuffle where his hands had been confiscated. So he shoved aside all the fancy gadgets, and got down to good old fashioned nosiness.
    "I thought your name was Oolong?" Ryouga asked in a puzzled voice.
    "That was just my undercover name." He explained. "Oolong is a poor little simp, whose ripe for the plucking. Agent P is a mean nasty son-of-a-bitch no criminal would come within miles of. Now, I believe you were going to tell me some things." The tone in his voice this time said he was not to be diverted from his inquiry.

    Ryouga thought for a minute. While it was a rather bizarre thing to be holding a conversation with a ten pound pig, he had witnessed, and participated in, stranger things. Something about the little alien made him feel he could trust him. And he had witnessed graphic proof there was a lot more to him then his appearance would indicate. So he broke down and confessed. Looking anywhere but at his dinner companion, he said. "I'm lost. I don't know where I am. I don't know how I got here, and I don't know how to get home." His voice almost broke under the strain of admitting this. What he said next was even harder. "Please, can you help me?"
    The little alien looked at him with sympathy, and asked a few more questions. What he learned filled him with anger. The boys story of finding himself on different planets with no memory of crossing space was the clincher. It was obvious what had been done to the poor sap. Some short handed, larcenous, free trader had taken him up on his home planet, probably worked him like a dog. Then as soon as he reached a space port where he could acquire a trained crewman, had dumped the poor primitive after erasing his memory. It was wonder the son of a snake had left the poor clod his universal translator. He thought for a few minutes, puffing away on his cigar, which had shrunken to a well chewed stub while he had talked with Ryouga. He decided to see if he could find any memories that might identify the scum who had picked him up.
    "You say this all started when you visited a place called Jusenkyo on your home planet?"
    Ryouga nodded his head. "That's right, I had chased Ranma there and . . ."
    "Ranma?"
    Ryouga grimaced, "it's a man to man thing. He ran out on a challenge, and I was trying to find him. I managed to trace him to Jusenkyo, and that's where it happened."
    "What?"
    "I changed, was changed. I slipped and fell off a cliff. I wasn't worried, it was not that high, and there was a pond at the bottom. I fell into the pond, and when I came to the top, I wasn't me any longer. I had turned into something else."
    Agent P raised an eyebrow, but made no comment and Ryouga continued.
    "I heard some people talking, they were wondering if the pool was cursed. I thought they must know what had happened to me. I crawled out of the bushes and tried to ask for help. They. . . they." Ryouga voice twisted, and his expression blazed with rage. "The son of the bitches tried to throw me in another pool so I would taste better when they ate me!!!!"
    P rocked back from the force of Ryouga's voice. "That would explain why you were so ticked off at Kaa anyway. I had wondered what possessed you to butt into a fight with someone his size."
    "I would have anyway. It was not a fair fight, you needed help."
    "So you changed, and these people tried to change you into something else so you would make better eating. What happened? You seem to be fine now. Or is this what you changed into?"
    "No, this is my real body. As to what happened, I managed to fight them off. My other body is not much bigger then you, but it has sharp teeth, and good strong claws. They'll remember me for a long time."
    "Good for you boy, but how did you cure your curse?" Only his years of training allowed Agent P to keep his voice accepting. The bastards had really messed up this kid's mind. And the only reason he could see to do it was recreation.
    "Some time later I slipped into a hot spring. I was feeling dirty and grimy, and everywhere I went, people avoided or chased me. As soon as I got in the hot water I was normal again. I thought I was cured." Ryouga laughed bitterly. "I found out differently the next time it rained. I was turned back into my cursed form. I eventually worked it out. Cold water causes the change, hot water changes me back."
    "So you're saying that if I were to splash you with cold water, you'd change into a form only a little bigger then me?" P asked, his
voice finally leaking a little scepticism.
    Ryouga, stung by his tone, reached out and grasped a glass of drinking water. A moment later a bug eyed Agent P was gazing at a bundle of clothing where the boy had been seconds before. Suddenly a small bulge under the clothes moved, and a feline head poked its head up through the neck of Ryouga's shirt.
    P started back, his heart suddenly racing with activistic fear. He shook it off quickly. He and fear were old friends. Hopping up on the table top, he tipped the cup of tea Ryouga had been drinking during dinner over on the fierce looking creature the boy had become. Seconds later, Ryouga was straightening his clothes, and giving P a, I told you so look.
    For his part, P looked down at the stub of a cigar in his hand, and then spit out the other end he had bitten of when he had first seen Ryouga's cursed form.
    "I'll give you this kid. That's one of the nastiest looking creatures I've ever seen. If you'd been wearing that in the alley, I swear, Kaa would have backed off." Shaking his head he continued. "That's the most incredible thing I've ever seen, but I don't see how it could have anything to do with you finding yourself lost on other planets, with no memory of how you got there."
    Agent P suddenly noticed that Ryouga's attention was no longer on him. Instead, the boy was gazing across the room, his teeth clenched in anger. Ryouga started to get up never taking his eyes off of whatever it was that had gotten him going. P turned on the table top to look in the direction Ryouga was looking in. What he saw immediately explained Ryouga's reaction, and also told him he had to act quickly.

    "Sit down boy!" Ryouga started back at the tone of total command in the Agent P's voice. His body reacted to that commanding voice before his mind could. He found himself suddenly sitting back down, and blinked his eyes in shock at the pig standing on the table.
    "What, but?" Ryouga said in puzzled surprise.
    Agent P kept an eye on him for a second to make sure he was not going to do anything stupid, then he looked back at what had caused Ryouga's reaction. A large Reticualan, his scales dull with age, was being led across the restaurant to a private dining area. No one seemed to have noticed Ryouga's violent reaction. Agent P gave a nod of satisfaction, and turned back to Ryouga, who was watching the huge snake with anger in his face. Ryoga's hands were clenched into fist, the knuckles white.
    "Why?" Ryouga blurted out.
    "What, you figure we should have given him a thumping like we did Kaa?" Agent P said rhetorically. He shook his head in dismay. "Look kid, if you were a cadet I'd be reading you the riot act right now. But seeing as how you don't know any better, I'll lay this out gentle like. Kaa was a rat bastard, who figured that his people are the top of the heap, and he and his friends were top of that heap. To him, and beings like him, the rest of the universe in filled with intelligent animals smart enough in some ways, but not real people. He saw no difference between trying to eat me, and trying to eat one of the food animals on his home planet. Or rather, I should say he saw no moral difference. I imagine the bastard liked hearing his prospective meals begging for mercy, that's the sort of person he is."
    "But get his straight boy. That does not make the rest of his people the same sort of scum he is. If you go judging other Reticulans by him, then you're just as guilty as he was of prejudice. "Kaa's not unique mores the pity. Bilford was another. Except in Bilford case, he probably belonged to one of those Carnivore cults. As far as Bilford is concerned, if your ancestors didn't kill their food with tooth and claw, then they, and you, are not real people."
    "Every race has some of them. That officer that stopped Bilford, big guy with horns, there are people on his planet that believe any being descended from carnivores are monsters, and should be exterminated on general principles. Shit! Even my people have their share of assholes.
    My people were created to be pets, we ended up intelligent, but we still have this need for companionship with larger beings, it's built into the genes, and you don't mess with that. Only problem is, some of my people, they see giving in to that as a weakness. We're suppose to overcome that need. Live life free and proud. Shit! Some of the nicest memories I have are of sleeping in my old partners Felicities lap while she scratched my ears. That didn't mean she didn't snap to when I gave an order though, she respected me as a person. And that's the secret you know boy. Don't look at beings by race. Every single intelligent being is a separate and different individual. Never fall into the mistake of making judgements based on what shape they are, at least not on their morality anyway, I wouldn't recommend offering a salad to one of Bilford's people, or a steak to that big fellow who stopped him. So, you got that boy?"
    Agent P's only answer was a rasping snore. Agent P big sweated "Dang, I've got to work on that speech." He gave his head a shake, trotted over and nudged Ryoga awake.
    He jumped off the table, and headed for the door. "Come on kid. The local space port has a Galactic police precinct. It's not much, but they have a scanner. If your planet has had any contacts with the federation at all, your people's stats will be on it. Soon as we find out where you're from, we can get you home. It's the least I can do for you." He looked up at Ryouga who was walking beside him, "And while you're on your feet, and not so likely to fall asleep, I'll just go over that little speech again. Ryouga groaned, but this time listened with a little more attention.

    All did not go well at the local precinct. At first everything had gone fine. Agent P had brought in Ryouga, explained the situation, and told the boy to go with the young rookie who was in charge of the desk. The two young men had gone into the back, while Agent P had enjoyed a quite smoke. He had not had much time to enjoy his cigar however. Ryouga and the young agent had only been gone a few minutes when the rookie had returned, his face pale. The news he had to impart was not to Agent P's liking.
    "WHAT THE HELL DO YOU MEAN, HE'S A WANTED FUGITIVE." The young rookie almost fell on his ass, as Agent P's roar caused him to stagger back. How the hell could anyone that small make such a loud noise, he thought to himself. Trembling, he approached the angry little porker, and laid a data board down on his desk in front of the agitated senior agent. Then he put some distance between himself and Agent P, backing up until his back was to the wall, then he stood there, watching as the minuscule agent read the report.

    The first thing P noticed was that the stations scanner had experienced the same problem scanning Ryouga as his portable unit had. Nothing but gibberish. They had instead fed his visible characteristics, and what he knew of his home system into the net, and hit the jackpot. Three days ago, the set of the most popular romance series in the federation had been trashed. A special episode, eagerly awaited by its viewership of six and a half billion creatures had not been ready in time. The loss in advertising revenue was incredible, but the real reason for the galaxy wide warrant was the fact that six local networks had been trashed by outraged fans. One planet, only recently having joined the federation, withdrew. They cited the fact that outside influences were far to disruptive.

    Agent P shook his head ruefully, the boy certainly didn't do things by half measure. If there was a better recorded crime, P had never heard of it. There must have been over a hundred separate recording devices on the set Ryouga had trashed. P turned to the young agent and said. "Think of some sort of tests you can give the kid. Keep him busy. I need to look this over. Try to keep him occupied for the next two hours if you can." The agent nodded, and P started to peruse every single one of the recording of Ryouga's rampage across the set of All My Spawn.

    One hundred and fifteen minutes later, he leaned back with a sigh, and twisted his head to take the kink out of his neck. Even at three speed it had taken him a long time to go over every recording of Ryouga's ten seconds of fame. And despite that, he had not been able to find a single frame that showed how Ryouga had arrived there, or how he had left. But after watching view after view of Ryouga's face, and body language, he was convinced the kid had no idea where he was, or what he was doing.
    He lit up his cigar which had gone out while he was studying the various recording. Taking a deep draw, he let out the smoke in a long stream. Watching the smoke, he let his mind drift, making connections and drawing conclusions. He was still convinced that Ryouga had been kidnaped, but now he knew it was not for something as innocuous as cheap labor. Someone had dropped him on that set. Someone who had a pretty good idea of how he would react. Then that some one had abandoned him on this planet.
    There was a lot of money involved here, and the people who would most benefit from Ryouga's action, could not chance being held accountable. Unlike the vast majority of the citizens of the galaxy, they might just have enough money to pay damages, and they would not risk that. They couldn't just kill Ryouga, and dump his body in a sun. That would simply leave the searchers looking for answers. No better to have a warm body, with some unusual features, such as the ability to scramble personal scanners, for the authorities to pin the blame on. And it might have worked. Despite the money involved, it was rather a joke of a case, and the average cop would simply want to see it solved and off his desk.
    Agent P sat at the desk, cyberfingers tapping on the polished wood, a distant look on his face. Then with a firming of expression he reached over and tapped a spot on the desk that would activate the intercom. "Get back in here would you."
    
    "But Inspector . . ."
    "No buts, this is a set up. The kid's a patsy. Now shut up and let me talk. This is what I want you to do. You're going to put the kid on a small courier and send him home. You did get enough data, you know where it is?"
    "Yes sir, It's an old Juraian colony several days journey from here. But we need clearance from Jurai to . . ."
    "You have it. I have the status to grant that. Now, after you get him off, I am going to leak the information to some very select people. There is a good chance that the people who set the kid up are not going to be happy we are just letting him go back home without charging him. My guess is, they will pirate the courier, and dump him on another planet, hopping the cops there will be more obliging.
    "But the pilots."
    "Relax, I'll be following behind. These will be industrial criminals. Once we ID them, and send that information off to the authorities, they'll back off. When it reaches that point, they'll let the lawyers take over."
    "But won't they jam transmissions."
    "They might try, but I have a Juraian communicator on board, they can't stop me from sending, and I'll be sure to make sure that they know that. I value my own hide too much to take any chances. From that point on, any action they take will be known to the authorities, and they will know it. They can deny any involvement with the sabotage, and their lawyers will do just that. Frankly I don't care. But if they fire on a Galactic patrol courier vessel in front of witnesses, then no fancy lawyer can help them."
    Agent P smirked as he thought of the screams of outrage that would soon be coming from the major financial centers. The nice thing about this, was he just had to point the finger, then the lawyers for All My Spawn would take over, and he pitied the poor sap who was behind this not one little bit.
    Looking up at the young galactic patrol agent in front of him, he pulled a small chip out of the data pad he'd been working on, he said. This is a recording of all the information I've gathered on this case as well as the interrogation I gave our young friend while we ate. I've also put my report on the Kaa incident on there as well. I want you to get a copy of that to the Reticulan embassy, and one to internal affairs. That should do it. You have your instructions, carry them out. I want that kid on the way home in an hour."
    The young agent snapped to attention, said, "yes sir!!" wheeled and headed out of the office.
    Agent P watched him leave, then snubbing out the rest of his cigar, he hopped down from the desk, and went to say good-bye to Ryouga. He had a lot of work to do if he was going to be ready to follow after the small courier in an hour.

End

T.H. Tiger